Thursday, January 28, 2016

Trouble Sleeping

I am too old and too feeble to get the "giggles."

But last night, while trying to go to sleep, I got the giggles.

You see, Tuesday afternoon I had surgery for the excision of a scrotal mass. That is part-and-parcel to the cancer that is trying - with some success - to bring me down (to ashes).

Well, before they roll you into the OR, they prep you in pre-Op where 5 or six others are also being prepped for other surgeries. These days, they not only wash and shave you, they mark up your body with the location and type of procedure and then do the IV thing.

The fellow on the other side of the curtain, we will call him "Cowboy Doofus" for the sake on anonymity, was asked his medical history by the anesthesiologist for obvious reasons... (e.g. how did you respond to mild sedation?; spinal tap?; general?...)

Cowboy Doofus took it as an opportunity to tell his life story - through his own distorted (and short-sighted) perception...

I tried to keep him "tuned out" with limited success.

One of his fables went: "Well, everyone was out drinking one weekend..." (EVERYONE? that diminishes his responsibility and or stupidity???) and I was in the back seat of an oldsmobile cutlass...

Three days later, I woke up in a coma... (he might have meant woke up FROM a comatose state)...

That's a little like "graduated high school" instead of "graduated FROM high school." My sister was horrified to learn that born-and-raised Americans sometimes take ESL because their English Proficiency Placement Tests indicate that they are not yet ready to take Remedial English in College.

Many, but not all, of these students are home-schooled with all the trappings of Biblical Parenting.

Then Cowboy Doofus tells the Anesthesiologist that he has an "intimacy problem" and needs a younger doctor to give him some new answers.

At that point, I wanted to get out of bed - IV and all - walk over and say:

"Cowboy, the tires on that wrecked Cutlass are harder than your dick is ever going to be and those tires are going to stay harder longer!"

Then I went out for the LONG 10 count.

Propofol (Diprivan) slows the activity of your brain and nervous system.

Propofol is used to help you relax before and during general anesthesia for surgery or other medical procedures.

After it was all over, I was taken home, had a cup of soup for dinner, and was put in bed.

And then, just THAT above mentioned thought of a less than artful movie montage returned to my head and gave me the giggles. All night.

Then, in recovery, I found out he was in to get arthroscopic orthopedic surgery for a wrist repair. Maybe that REPAIR will solve his intimacy problems!

Or maybe the injury is the RESULT of his intimacy problems.

Sunday, January 24, 2016

Read about it TOMORROW

Tomorrow is the 25th. 10 days, and it rots.

I want to make it very clear. I am not talking about religion. I am talking about PEOPLE!

For a LONG time, I have said: "It's a gay life in the Vatican."

Really! This has been going on for centuries but it is denied by the truly faithful.

I applaud those in the faith who obediently donate to the various and sundry charities.

I think the obedient faithful also deserve "a thank you letter."

Even if they don't spend $250,000 fixing up the old 2600 sq/ ft. apartment!

Heaven forbit that someone step forward and tell the truth!

Gay Marriage is EVIL.

If you don't believe me, ask a Roman Catholic.

Around 2 decades ago, the mother church (e.g. Mary's Church) dropped the "Roman" from "Roman Catholic." But if it walks like a "Roman Catholic," and it talks like a "Roman Catholic," and it dresses like a "Roman Catholic," then there is a reasonable probability that it is a "Roman Catholic."

One of my five best friends EVER died from AIDS complications. I was never certain that he was gay. That never came up. That never mattered.

When he was gone, I missed him. There were 100 things I never had the opportunity to say "thank you" for... Brunch at Liverpool Lil's, after work dinner at the Down Under, meeting so many TV personalities when, as a kid from Reno, he had a decade of television experience in the San Francisco/San Jose markets and I was new to the business - less than 2 years out of college. More than anything, he was my guardian angel and kept me from being fired a couple of different times because I was outspoken and honest - and not very reserved. We worked at 420 Taylor Street from 1973 until I WAS fired in 1975! KBHK hired the first two female broadcast engineers in San Francisco - I got to know them rather well - in the biblical sense. Both complained to the boss... and "You don't get your tail where you get your mail" was his comment. The following Monday, I worked at KQED (4th and Bryant). That was all long before I was married. And long, long before I was gifted with terminal cancer.

It's like the old guy who applied for a job. When asked what his greatest strength was, he said "honesty."

When asked what his greatest weakness was, he said "honesty."

When told: "I don't think "honesty" is a weakness, he said: "I don't give a rat's ass what you think!"

REMEMBER? (Bakker went to prison for fraud)

Jimmy Swaggart Ministries from 2008 to 2011

Swaggart wanted me fired (wrote a letter demanding it) in the 1980s - it didn't happen.


Ted Haggard - "W's Spiritual Advisor."

I want to make it very clear. I am not talking about religion. I am talking about PEOPLE!

Full Movie - Scandinavian subtitles

FYI - I have been married to the same dutiful obedient (pun) Japanese girl for 34 years, we have no children (we figured out WHAT CAUSES them), and have a family altar with a collection of pet ashes.

Remember, god is dog spelled backwards!

Dog is watching you!

I want to make it very clear here. I am not talking about a religion. I am talking about a DOG!