Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Hellow? Another WAKE UP call?

Why was this statue, known as "touchdown jesus," destroyed by lightening?
*God, whether he goes by the name of Allah, Jehovah or Tinky Winky, hates ostentatious displays of faith. This 62-foot statue was an aesthetic abomination, an anathema to true spirituality. (The end-time abomination includes an idolatrous image at a new temple.)
*The Almighty was upset because Jesus was constructed out of styrofoam and fiberglass instead of marble or gold.
*The Supreme Being was furious that a million bucks was wasted on a styrofoam statue, instead of the money being used to feed the hungry and heal the sick (raise the dead, cast out republicans).
*The Heavenly Father doesn't do a good job protecting his children. He is incapable or unwilling to prevent earthquakes, floods and hurricanes that kill millions, he can't even prevent lightning from destroying a kitschy statue.
*There's no deity looking down on us, and the rain falls in equal parts on the just and the unjust. Lightning sometimes destroys orphanages and hospitals, and sometimes it destroys brothels and cheesy representations of Jesus. Bad things happen to good and bad people with the same random probability as good things happening to good and bad people. There is no coin; there is no finger to flip the coin.

These merchants of stagecraft weep not for their lost statue, but for their lost market share. (Ezekiel 27:36).

If anyone wuz 2 ask me, I'ld say: "I think the attic was empty."

Know what I mean?

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